Jar Jar meets Berk; A Star Wars/Trapdoor Crossover
by Phony Jedi
Summary: Somewhere in the dark and nasty regions where nobody goes stands an ancient castle. Within lives Berk, servant of the Thing upstairs. But now a gungan owes him a life debt. Who ends up serving who?
1. Chapter I - The Problem with Trapdoors

Somewhere in the dark and nasty regions, where nobody goes,stands an ancient castle. Deep within this dank and uninviting place lives Burk. Over worked servant of the thing upstairs. But that's nothing compared to the horrors that lurk beneath the trapdoor. For there's always something down there, in the dark... waiting to come out...  
  
I  
  
"BERK! WHERES MY BREAKFAST?"  
  
The yell from the Thing upstairs woke Berk out of his sleep, as well as making the window panes in the ancient castle rattle. Berk opened one eye, checking the world for anything creepy crawly, slimy or dangerous because if there was he was going back to sleep.  
  
"BERK!"  
  
"Coming, your blubberbagness," Berk said, though only the first part of his reply was loud enough to be heard by the Thing. He rolled to his feet and looked at Boni, a solitary skull still snoozing on the ground, holding up a shelf of books. "Oo better not wake him," Berk muttered to himself, "This place is a big enough mess as it is." He grabbed one of the cookbooks off the shelf that Boni was holding up, then turned around and knocked Boni with his foot, knocking him out from under the shelf and making the rest of the books fall down around him. "Oh globbits!"  
  
"BERK! FEED ME!"  
  
Berk muttered something to Boni about being in a hurry then left the room quickly. From the pile of books came a small voice. "Oh dont worry about me Berk, feed the Thing. Perfectly all right." Boni sighed, and drawn by the clutter as he always was, Drutt scuttled into the room. "Oh hello Drutt," he said grinning. Not that he had a choice. Drutt squeaked happily, dropping something from his mouth onto the pile of books. "Drutt, what on earth was that thing? Oh! It's all slimy Drutt, get it off! Oh dear..."  
  
Meanwhile Berk was in the kitchen, apron around his waist and a frying pan in his hand. "Sizzling bubotubers for the old fattage, should enjoy that eh," he said to Drutt, who had scuttled back from Berks den. Berk flipped the tubers into a pool of orange goo and then slid it all onto a massive blue plate. "Now stay out of the way Drutt, I have to take this up to the Thing."  
  
Drutt squeaked softly, then scuttled back to where Boni lay covered in slime from the massize red worm that had been dropped on him by Berks lovable pet. The slime had eaten through the books and Boni lay on the ground moaning. "Thank you for that Drutt, I imagine I would be in a lot of pain if I werent already dead. Where is Berk anyway, he said he'd come help me."  
  
Drutt looked up, and Bony wiggled on the floor a bit, which could be taken as a horizontal nod. "Ah, of course. Pressing duties of course, I'm sure he would have come back for me any minute now. He's quite fond of me after all."  
  
"OK you moaning bone, what's the problem now?" Berk asked as he walked back into the room. He lifted Boni and set him upright, looked at the shelf then realised the books that were on it had all dissolved. Then he saw the large red worm. "Cor! His fatness would have loved that, too bad we cant keep it here, they stink even worse than the windbag up there," he said, pointing to the ceiling. "Oh well, s'pose it'll have to go in."  
  
"Berk," Boni interupted, "Dont tell me you're going to open it again?"  
  
"Well where else'm I going to put him? He'll have to go into the trapdoor." 


	2. Chapter II - Creatures from the Dark

II

The room was quiet, the only sound that could be heard was the snuffling of the Thing upstairs devouring Berks latest culinary creation. Berk waddled in, whistling contentedly and holding the massive red worm at arms length. Drutt screeched in after him with Boni following soon after. The skull looked at the trapdoor unhappily, its thick oak and heavy clasp was never enough to stop the horrors from underneath making their way into the castle, and Berk had a habit of forgetting to close it whenever he got distracted. "Hurry up please Berk, put it in and close the trapdoor so we can go back to sleep."

"Oh come on Boni, there's no hurry," he said, tickling the worm under where he thought the chin was. "Look at im, e's kinda cute." The worm opened its mouth at the other end of the body and started snapping with its massive teeth. "Blimey, maybe we should get rid of it. Look out Drutt," he pushed his pet off of the trap door and grabbed the massive iron clasp with his free hand. Boni would have closed his eyes if he had any, as he always seemed to suffer the most from the creepy crawlies that made their way up to the light above the trap door. Berk wrenched the door up, but before he could drop the worm in a large, lanky figure clambered out.

"Oi, whats that thing I wonder?"

"Oh push it back in Berk, its hideous!"

But it was too late. A creature twice Berks size and half his girth stood up in the room, banging his head on the low-hanging candle holders. It hunched its shoulders, looking up at the candle holders with its eyes on stalks, then shook its head, its long ears flapping around its head. Spying the worm its long tongue lashed out, sticking to the worm then retracting with it attached into the creatures mouth. It chewed for a moment then swallowed, its long neck bulging out as the worm travelled down its throat.

"Oh moi moi, I love youse! Youse save mesa from terribible scary monstas and give mesa chunky red brekkie foods!"

"Cor! Look Boni, the thing talks," Berk exclaimed happily, looking up at the creature standing twice his height.

"So it seems, although I haven't heard an accent like that since I had ears. And as far as I can remember, that's a good thing. What is it anyway?"

"Mesa called Jar Jar Binks," the creature interrupted. "Mesa Gungan! Mesa youse humble servant! Yousa save me from crubblies and hunkors!" Jar Jar hugged Berk's eyes, then jumped when he heard a low rasping voice from under the trap door.

_Ni chawa ku dango gungan_

Jar Jar ran off into the kitchen and kept running. Berk went to pull the trap door closed but it was pushed back up almost instantly after, despite Drutt jumping on it to try and keep it closed. A long, horse like snout poked out, with long whiskers hanging off the end of it like antenna. Climbing further out, seeming to use its feet to pull himself up and his arms to push the trap door open, was another monster. Once it was out it sniffed the air while perched on its long arms, its legs held up in front of its chest. "_Koruka de niko JoJo_" it said, looking at Berk.

"Umm Hello!" Berk replied, waving one of his massive blue hands. Boni was hiding under a rock nearby and Drutt was spinning around on his side from where he was flung when the trapdoor opened, trying to get onto his many tiny feet.

"Look out Berk, he looks dangerous!" Boni yelled from the cover of his rock.

"Don't worry Boni, it prolly wouldn't hurt a fly." Berk reached out and patted the creature on the nose, snatching his hand back when he heard a growl coming from its throat. The creature grabbed Berks arm with one of its feet, and using Berk to balance brought one of its heavily muscled arms into the air in a threatening gesture. "Ooh sorry, sorry. Wont happen again," Berk muttered, trying to pull away from the creatures strong grip. "What're you anyways?"

"_Micesko Sibulba misko nika Dug. Koruka JoJo?_"

"Berk, I think its asking if we've seen that Jar Jar creature. I think it ran into the greenhouse when it heard this thing," Boni tried to translate from huttese, though he could recognise only a few words.

"_Sibulba_"

"This thing named Sebulba. That rather annoying creature went that way," Boni tried to motion with his head, but it was hard to notice.

"Coo, yes, thas right. It went through the kitchen. Doesn't seem awfully fond of you now did it Drutt?" Drutt flipped himself onto his legs at last at squeaked the affirmative. Meanwhile Sebulba trotted into the kitchen, following the path that Jar Jar had a few minutes before and muttering darkly.

"_Nibeto khrakca, race tiuto Monume._"

Berk was about to follow him when a loud yell made the pots fall off their hooks in the kitchen.

"**BERK! FEED ME!**"

Berk ran into the kitchen and Drutt followed after. Boni remained in the trap door room, watching the trap door. "Berk?" he said loudly. "Berk, you left the door open again!" He groaned and followed the others into the kitchen.

* * *

**OK I'm working on this on a really fragmentary memory of the Trapdoor. If people would please review and tell me what you think, and what you think I should work on (chapter length not included), that would be cool.** 


End file.
